A little nervous
Saturday, June 25th, 2005It’s late on Saturday night. I need to go to sleep because I have
duties at all three services tomorrow morning. (I hate the pressure of
getting enough sleep on Saturday night!) I guess you could say I am a
bit nervous about the week ahead. I am deaning Senior High One camp at
our conference camping center. The actual job isn’t that intimidating,
but I have to speak three times this week. I wish I was better at
multitasking. When so many messages are staring me down, especially
when they are disconnected thematically, I have a hard time giving the
proper amount of focused attention to each one. I jump from thought to
thought, adding notes here and there, but struggling to wrap my mind
around the full picture for each individual message. We will see what
happens.
Tonight I also feel a concern for how "ungrounded" I feel right now.
Since coming to Mansfield in February, I have had a wonderful time. It
has been challenging and rewarding. I have appreciated the intellectual
exercise of trying to grab hold and transform the culture of the
organization, but I just don’t feel like I am a part of the community
yet. I feel orphaned… That word may be too dramatic, but at the
moment at least it seems appropriate. I feel like a pastor without a
flock… a shepherd who doesn’t quite know his "new" sheep. I know that
disconnect is due in large part to geography… I just pray that the
distance that I feel, and I know Steph feels, will be better very soon.
I am married to an incredible woman whose patience and support feel
limitless to me, but I want something better for my family soon. I
appreciate your prayers as we wait for the ability to make Mansfield
more than just a place of employment, but our home as well.
So, there are some random thoughts. What’s on my heart tonight…
Tomorrow, camp begins. How incredible and glorious God’s sense of humor
can be… that my life would come full circle… now I am the dean of
SHI. We’ll see how this goes. Matt better bring the funny. Otherwise,
we are in big trouble if the "witty banter" depends on me.





